Vacuum State

In the past few weeks I've had good conversations with various female friends on the pressures society places on women. We shared similar experiences of overwhelming stress from expectations and conventions bombarded at us through every media possible. I am finding that it is more rare to encounter a woman that hasn't experienced anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, jealousy and disordered eating patterns. Is that just what we've come to accept as normal?!

It makes me furious. The women I hear this from are intelligent, interesting, unique, creative and diverse. Oh, and they're beautiful too. But fuck that. Fuck that women have to be beautiful before all of those things. Fuck that '20 beautiful women' project on instagram. Fuck that 'love your body' campaign. I am so tired of women being reduced to their appearance in any regard. I'm tired of looking at (non-vanity) selfies where the comments are filled with "so hot", "such a babe" and "you're so beautiful" nonsense. As if that is now the new way to promote self-esteem. How about we don't tie our worth to appearance at all?

You probably realize that I am yelling this at myself, right?

It's easy to observe and criticize societal norms, but actually existing outside of them is something I have yet to achieve. So for the time being I've put an embargo on social media. I realize it's impossible to live in a vacuum - but I am going to try my hardest to develop an identity for myself that is without external influences. Really look deep inside and listen to myself about what I want (I hope that isn't some new age-y form of spirituality). And ultimately mold that into confidence where I can see other people doing their own thing and go "ok, cool. not a threat."

This lack of social media may lead to more angry blogging. You've been warned.

PS - where can I get this sweatshirt seen on Carrie Brownstein at the first show of the SK tour?!