The start

I officially started my half marathon training today. This gives me about 15 weeks - which is probably more than necessary but I already feel like it won't be enough. 

I let a lot of negative thoughts flood in while I ran around the canal today after work. "It's hot." "My hamstring feels sore." "My foot too." "I look so weird in that store window." "I don't look like a runner." "I'm never going to run 13.1 miles, these 4 are hard."

And then I got a really bad stitch in my side and had to walk for a bit. Womp womp. So I realized that if I am EVER going to even come considerably close to improving on my half marathon time I am going to have to take this training day by day. As in, just focus on the miles for the day and nothing else. I'd really like to not psyche myself out of this. If I focus too much on 13.1 miles, especially at the beginning here, I'm going to panic. 

I'm following a plan that is provided on the race's website (by Scott's same coach) for a 'pacer' or someone that already is running 4-5 times a week distances of 4-8 miles. Ok, check. I already am not just a 'finisher'. That's something. 

This negativity might just be a product of my exhausted emotional state of late. Life is busy here. If I was smart, I'd use running as a release but no - I must add running to the list of things I need to stress about. 

However, I have (somewhat) allowed myself to stop worrying about other trivial things. For instance constructing a specific personal style, or eating. Stress about food has actual gone down considerably since I've increased my running. I've found that I need to be eating a high amount of fruits and vegetables to keep my digestion running and that eating tons of processed carbs (pretzels, tortilla chips, etc.) just doesn't help. Otherwise though I'm able to eat say... a cupcake, or a peanut butter chocolate chip bar and not have a panic attack. Progress!