Fall happenings - and it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

Fall is without a doubt my favorite season. It's beautiful, the weather is exciting and unpredictable and it seems to bring a feeling of new-ness (I will always associate Fall with the start of a new school year, new books, new clothes, new me). Scott and I have been particularly busy this Fall, namely to squeeze in as much as we could before his scheduled third surgery in late October. But thanks to some insurance red-tape, his surgery has been moved to January and we are continuing to fill Fall with as much as possible.

In September I turned 28 (!) and enjoyed seeing my parents the weekend prior. We had a good time showing them around Indy and southern Indiana. My brother gifted me his old Nikon DSLR and I've been trying to catch some good snaps!

In October Scott and I went on a one night backpacking trip in Deam Wilderness. I've never done any backpacking before but I loved it! We ended up hiking in about 8 miles, setting up camp, then hiking out the next day. It was so nice to be lost in nature for an extended period of time. It really highlights how removed we are from it in daily life.







Later in October we found ourselves in Philadelphia/New Jersey for 1) Scott's cousin's wedding, 2) the Runner's World Half Marathon that Scott was running, and 3) Tamerlaine Farm Animal Sanctuary for their Oktober fest.

The half-marathon was so fun to be a part of. Last year this time Scott was on the cover of the December issue after winning the cover contest. They offered him a free entry into this race and it happened to fit into our schedule. Scott ended up placing 9th and smashing his goal; running a 1:20:02 on a hilly course. From there we headed over to Tamerlaine Farm; a farm animal sanctuary run by friends of ours. To be clear, this is a farm that houses animals that have been rescued from farming operations; headed to slaughter, or otherwise living in awful conditions. Some of the roosters had been dumped on a busy highway, an enormous pig Artie was living in a bathroom in NYC, and dozens of chickens had been rescued from the Kaporos ritual. This was something I'd never heard of before now, but it is a Jewish atonement ritual that takes place before Yom Kippur. Chickens are used to 'transfer evil' into, then they are swung around the head while fully alive, and then their throats are slit. This barbaric ritual is still legal in NY because religious freedom is protected under law. It absolutely enrages/confuses/saddens me that something like this is allowed because of archaic traditions that fall under the umbrella of 'religion'. I should note that this is only done by a very devout sect of Jews; most do not slaughter chickens in the street.

Many of these chickens are typical industry chickens; breed to grow so fast their legs break under their abnormal weight and to over produce eggs at a rate that causes ovarian tumors. Many of these chickens have injuries and difficult lives even after rescue - and end up dying prematurely.

It was an emotional experience to say the least. The chickens were curious and affectionate and friendly. I am just so happy there are people like the owners of Tamerlaine out there to provide a haven for these guys.

November has continued to be a busy month; last weekend Scott paced the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon and ran a perfectly paced 3:05 marathon. 

And last night we were again gifted tickets to our friend's six course plated vegan Thanksgiving dinner. The food was INSANE. So fancy and flavorful and beautiful.... 

Main entree: Seitan roast over turnips with roasted carrots and brussel sprouts. 

I'm still looking forward to Thanksgiving in two weeks where we plan to host friends for a vegan pitch in and I'm currently taking another sewing class (garments this time!) so hopefully more sewing projects will follow.

So clearly Fall remains the best season.

"I'm a runner"

I initially started this blog to talk about running - but lately I haven't been doing much of that. I've done some sporadic trail running, but otherwise I've been much more interested in cycling, HIIT, or yoga.

And I'm totally cool with that! Wait, no. I'll rephrase - I am mostly cool with that.

Sometimes having an 'identity' kind of sucks. At work everyone knows that I run, so that is a common thing they bring up. "Are you training for anything?" "Did you run today?" And so on and so on. Same with acquaintances, family.... even my doctors. People get that one little detail about you and file that away. Its no fault of theirs, I do the same thing with other people. But lately I've been left to answer those questions with an "....uh not so much". And then I quickly feel the need to explain why, and blah blah blah.

Which I suppose is what I am about to do here.

Anyways. I haven't been running much because I don't feel like it. That's all. I'm letting go of the labels and just doing and being how I want. Running can become an activity where I don't feel like I am good enough sometimes. I feel that I know so much about it; what is a fast pace, what is a slow pace, what is high mileage. All those little qualifications get stuck in my head and then I start comparing myself to other runners and its all downhill from there. But cycling and yoga I know next to NOTHING about. And it's great! I love being a novice. I have absolutely no expectations for myself, no PRs to look back on, no sense of fast and slow. I leave every session of yoga or time on the bike trainer proud of myself just because I did it.

Admittedly part of my need to always run in some manner had to do with weight. I was constantly concerned that if I stopped running I would gain weight uncontrollably. But that hasn't appeared to happened (I wouldn't know since I no longer weigh myself). Regardless I am really getting over the idea that thinness = the end all be all of life. It's really such a waste of time.

With all this in mind, I am still going to be running in some capacity. I signed up to be a Girls on the Run coach this fall for pre-teen girls in the area! It's fantastic organization that aims to build confidence in young girls through activity. They even made a point in the training to emphasize that they don't care if the girls run, just that they are moving in some way. I know that I spent a lot of time in middle school worrying about being 'cool' and wearing the right clothes and trying to fit in. It would have been really nice to have some activity with friends devoted to confidence building. Especially now since all kids have Facebook and smart phones by age 13 (really, WTF?! I am so so glad Facebook didn't exist for me until college and iphones until graduate school).

Currently I am in NJ with Scott's family relaxing, eating banana whip and doing yoga everyday. And all the yoga here is apparently hot yoga. Holy smokes do you sweat a lot! So who knows maybe I'm on a path to be a spandex-y yoga fanatic. I knew my long arms were useful for something.

Race Recap: 2015 Cape Cod Ragnar - Team Strong Hearts Vegan Power

Photo cred: Chris Cooney/The Vegan Zombie

Last weekend was a whirlwind. An amazing, fun, exhausting and eye opening whirlwind. I participated in the 2015 Cape Cod Ragnar with a huge group of over 40+ ethical vegans. I was pushed to my limits physically, made tons of new friends and had an experience of a lifetime. But first, what is a Ragnar?

I'd never heard of Ragnar before Scott did his first one in 2013. A Ragnar is a relay race of roughly 200 miles; point-to-point, for a team of 12 runners. Or 6 if you're an ultra team. We had three teams this year for Strong Hearts Vegan Power after the first two years garnered so much interest. Each runner is assigned a number (1-12) which designates which legs they run. The first 6 runners pile in van #1, the last 6 pile in van #2 and once the first runner starts the race is non stop. Someone from your team is running until the race is over. Meaning we run through the night and get very little downtime. I was runner number 3 in my van, so I ran legs 3, 15 and 27. Not all legs are equal distance or difficulty. My legs were 6.3, 4.0 and 9.4 miles, respectively, for a total of 19.7 miles in less than two days.

The aim of running as a team of vegan runners wasn't just to have fun. We organized this to benefit Tamerlaine Farm; an animal sanctuary run by one of the team members. Tamerlaine has rescued dozen of chickens from a Kaparot ceremony (a ceremony in certain Jewish communities where chickens are waved in the air and then slaughtered brutally, this is for some reason still totally legal in NYC), factory farms and school hatching projects. Recently they just welcomed two pigs to their farm and continue to expand. Our team shirts boldly stated "FOR THE ANIMALS" on the back and "VEGAN POWER" on the front. People immediately knew who we were and what we stood for. As someone who has not ever participated in any sort of activism this was thrilling to be a part of.

I was on Team C, van 1 and we started around 8:45 am Friday. I was excited and nervous for the race to start. I knew I could run all those distances, but I'd never done so much consecutively. But excitement really prevailed as there were so many people to meet and stories to share. My van was full of amazing people doing such diverse things. A musician, a nurse, a personal trainer, the owner of Strong Hearts Cafe, the director of the podcast Our Hen House..... seriously amazing people. I was so impressed with how we all have approached veganism in different ways, but shared the same message.

Our run kicked off with Carrie, a personal trainer who had such great enthusiasm and positivity, and happened to be celebrating her birthday. We quickly hoped in the van and drove to the first exchange ahead of her to prepare our second runner. Carrie came in strong and we sent of Michael and headed to the next exchange. Which meant I was up next! Michael's first leg was a shorter one so I didn't have too much time to get nervous, but I did anxiously bounce around at the exchange waiting for him to come in. When he did we had what I would say was the 'perfect slap' (the baton in this was a slap bracelet, a dangerous dangerous slap bracelet) and I was off. I had just over a 10K to cover. It was maybe around 10 am at this time and it was sunny and warm. I felt really strong for the first half of this run that took me along some suburban streets. Eventually the hills started to take a toll on me and I found I slowed down but finished with an over all pace of 8:45/mi for the 6.3. My leg finished on a steep downhill and I passed the slap bracelet to Joel. Ok, first leg done. I was happy to have it out of the way. That last 9.4 mile leg kept jumping to my mind. "Can I do that?" "How can I do that after running all this!?" "I'll be fine." "When will I sleep?"

I caught my breath, jumped back in the van and got interviewed by Jasmin of Our Hen House for their weekly podcast about my experience being a vegan scientist. I'll put the link below - I don't sound too rambly thank god! There is something about living in close quarters with people that turn you into instant family. I was constantly laughing in my van, even when I thought I might pass out from lack of sleep. Our next exchanges went smoothly - much due to the excellent navigation of our driver Molly who always kept her cool. We were never late to an exchange once! When our 6th runner passed off the bracelet to runner 7 (the first runner of van 2) we finally had a good 4 hour break before we needed to start our second legs.

We found a great park on the route and had a picnic lunch. Joel, being a restaurant owner, provided us with a complete gourmet spread of vegan sandwiches and snacks. I had NO complaints about my van placement. Ha. After replenishing calories we all spread out languidly in the park, taking naps, observing wild turkeys, stealing toilet paper from the park bathroom (desperate times people)...Jasmin conducted a few more interviews and I tried to take a small nap in the van. Not too successful.

Before we knew it, it was time for us to start our second leg. We headed over the the exchange point where van 2 would finish and Carrie would start again. By now the sun was going down and we were required to put on all our safety gear. Headlamps, reflective vests, blinkers. It also became surprisingly breezy and cold at this point and I cursed myself for not bringing any sort of blanket or pants. I think it was about this point that I started to get nervous about continuing to run and it being cold. I also felt nervous to run in the dark, even with all the precautions. I am not sure why my anxiety started to get so high at this point - I'll say it was probably due to the accumulating fatigue.

It was dark at this point (maybe around 8 or 9 pm) and I was just not sure of my abilities. Once Michael came in to the exchange and gave me the bracelet I took off with a vengeance. Half to get it over with, half to warm up my body. I knew this leg should be easy. It was 4 miles pretty much all downhill. I told myself to just run it as fast I could so I could try to get some sleep right away. Most of this run was on sidewalks so I really didn't have much to worry about but there were some very dark turns where I would hold up my blinky protectively for cars. This leg was probably the best leg for me since the chill in the air was actually great once I got going. I finished it up with about a 8:40 pace and handed off to Joel again.

Here is really where I think delusion sets in. I think I mostly stayed in the van through the next few exchanges since in my mind I figured any second possible I should try to be sleeping. I didn't know how I was going to run 9.4 miles with little to no sleep in between. How do people do this race?! How do people do ultras?! I don't really recall getting any actual sleep at this point since we were still very on the move. Once our last runner came in for the second time we had a moment to relax. Since it was Carrie's birthday we had a mini celebration with cupcakes from Strong Hearts. I don't think a cupcake has ever tasted so good to me. The sugar was all my body wanted at that point. Pure energy, nothing hard to digest. I then conked out in the backseat of the van for what I guess was 2.5 hours before I had to prepare for my last leg.

Starting my last leg around 5:30 am. Photo cred: Jasmin Singer

I was SO nervous at this point. I felt spent but I had my longest leg to go. I hadn't really eaten much other than cupcakes and lunch seemed so far away. It was still cold out and I couldn't remember that I would warm up while running. I just knew I was cold then and I didn't like it. The sun rose just before I started off my last leg so I was mostly running through the hazy morning air. Michael came into the exchange still looking strong, maybe fatigued, and handed me the bracelet. I took off at a much more reserved pace than my other legs. I knew this leg was just about staying upright. I needed to keep my pace easy and consistent to finish it at all. The cold wind slapped me awake before I knew what was happening and I actually enjoyed those first quiet 3 miles a lot. Pace maintained around 9:05-9:10 and I got to take in some really scenic views of Cape Cod houses and the coast. I slowly passed people - which gave me confidence that I could endure this leg. But then of course; hills. What looked like nothing on the elevation chart proved to be constant undulating hills through these sleepy streets. My next two miles were much slower, but still I felt I had energy in the tank. Once I hit mile 6 and turned onto a paved running path I started to really start feeling fatigue. My left knee started to feel a little too much and it worsened with every step. I knew my form was suffering as I got more and more tired, but I had to keep pushing.

At 1.7 from the finish I was dragging. I had NO more energy in my legs. I couldn't make them turn over any faster. My knee was wobbling. I had given my team estimated pacing of 9-9:30/mi pace. I knew I was well off that now and they were probably wondering where I was. I tried to muster any last reserves here, but it really didn't help that these last two miles were a gradual incline. I tried to pace with an older man that was still trucking but I couldn't keep up. This is what it must feel like to run a marathon or an ultra. Complete energy depletion. In hindsight I should have absolutely taken a gel or calories of some sort with me. I was a good 10-15 minutes off pace at this point so I texted my team to let them know I was having some issues but I was close. Joel, the runner after me, immediately ran out to me with water. He met me at about 0.7 miles to go, and took off on his now extended last leg. I never intended to make him run extra, but from what Jasmin tells me he didn't even hesitate. This is what I mean with my van became family. I shuffled into to exchange point to my teammates and collapsed into the van. I was done. Done running. Such a bittersweet end.

I refueled and started feeling back to normal relatively quickly. It was really just my body saying "No more. We're tired." Our van finished up the final handoff to van 2 and we were DONE! We were now free to head to the finish line and meet up with other team members, some of whom had already finished the whole race. Our Team A was purposefully organized to include the fastest runners so it was more competitive (naturally Scott was on this one) and they ended up coming in third place OVERALL and first in their division. There were over 500 teams and they came in THIRD. Our B team came in a few hours later and our C team (my team) about 1.5 after them. When our last runner crested the hill to the finish and all 40+ of us slowly joined her, until it was a massive mob of vegans. I couldn't have felt more love or pride over my new group of friends. We were so supportive and positive for one another.

And then, the aftermath. So I mentioned before this was the most I'd ever run at one time. It was a new experience for me to feel complete shutdown of my body. Not to mention after effects. I winced every time I got into a car or use stairs. My knee had to be treated with care. But the worst for me was dehydration. When we finally got back to our hotel room I had a massive headache almost to the point of tears (I told you this kind of made me delusional) and could barely eat dinner. All I wanted was a shower and bed. We all fell asleep by 9 pm.

Once those basic needs were met (food, water, sleep, shower) I rejoined the human race. We met up with a group of teammates the following morning for amazing vegan breakfast in Boston and by sheer coincidence - I saw my mom on Mother's day! She happened to be in New Hampshire, a 1 hour drive from Boston that weekend, so I was able to have a brief visit with her and my grandparents.

Last weekend was epic in all meanings of the word. I would do it again in a heartbeat and wish I had more reasons to hang out with this amazing group of people.

Just about everyone before the start. Photo cred: who knows!

Click here to hear my lil' interview on Our Hen House: Episode 279: “Organize, agitate, educate, must be our war cry.”

Re-cycle, up-cycle, spring-cycle

I am currently laying in bed with and all three of the kitties, enjoying coffee and slow Saturday mornings. The cats are thrilled with the change of season and have been spending as much time as they can watching the rain from the windowsills or following the birds. I also have been reveling in this weather and returned to running on the Monon after work (with about everyone else in Indianapolis), or heading down to Brown County with Scott to enjoy muddy trails. My relationship with running is going really well now. Since I've kind of stopped letting it define me and my worth, I've been experiencing a lot less anxiety about it. I also have a lot less to say about it (or blog about it) now since I am just running for enjoyment. Apologies if you came for the running talk!

Yesterday we got a dirt (ahem, "soil") delivery for the garden. It's coming along nicely! Again, all this work was done by Scott. Next to plant the seeds!

In other sustainable living practices, my sewing class wrapped up and I am completely hooked now. I made three items in the class; a pillow case, an apron and a tote bag. The woman teaching the class was fantastic, she really had so much knowledge about sewing and was incredibly patient with a total novice like me. Scott's mother generously lent me her sewing machine and I've been messing around with it in my down time by making small stuffed animals for a few friends that have new babies. So far the babies approve.

     

I'm really itching to start making clothing, but I haven't settled on where to start at all. I'm considering buying my own machine with more garment appropriate features. Speaking of garments... today is another excuse for Sartorial Saturday! Though to be honest I think I wore this Tuesday. If you knew how many pictures I had to make Scott take to get this one good one....

With the exception of the shoes I can say this entire outfit was second hand! I didn't even realize that when I put it together. The top is a thrifted Gap shirt, the skirt thrifted Target, the sweater is a thrifted Loft cardigan. And to continue with this theme, today I am hosting a "Clothing Exchange" with some friends. More upcycling! 

Race Recap: DINO Series 5k, Mounds State Park

I mentioned months ago that I signed up for the entire DINO (Do INdiana Outdoors) 15K trail series. Due to the severe norovirus I got 3 weeks ago, I made the wise decision to drop down to the 5K. I am STILL not completely over this bug; major symptoms yes, but my digestive system is totally out of whack. So bad that I haven't been able to run really at all. I can barely go grocery shopping with out needing to run to the bathroom so running was pretty much out of the question. But thankfully I am recovered enough now to run, but I was so glad I dropped down to the 5K.

Recent snow melt and rain meant for an extremely muddy course for the day, but it's trail running. That's part of the package. My goals for this race were to complete it with out needing to stop for a bathroom break. Nothing more. I know that my body is kind of weak right now, my weight is probably down (but I don't know because I threw away my scale, hurrah!) and my endurance is crap.

Report wise, I don't really have much. It was muddy, and slow and full of stairs. I definitely need to work on strength/hills to really improve my trail run times. But overall it was a fun race, I finished in a not too embarrassing position (2nd in my age group FTW) and had fun spectating Scott in the 15K.

Scott finished 4th in the 15K! And we both got age group awards annnnnd discounts to Runner's Forum. Mostly I am just happy to be able to run again!

Will update later with my time, but from my watch it looked to be around 32:xx. Meh.

Update: 32:02.6 final. Still Meh! But technically a new trail 5K PR. 

Going ons in the little white house

Life lately in the little white house is good. I've been happy to be away from facebook and instagram (for almost one whole week, gasp!) - it's been a really nice way to quiet all the 'noise'. Even if most people do so in jest, there is a lot of negativity and complaining happening online.

In lieu of carving out a life that is separate from what dominant culture dictates, Scott and I have been implementing more self-sustainable practices into daily life. For me this has been focusing on the difference between 'want' and 'need', particularly when it comes to clothes. Excess in our culture is so apparent in our attitude towards clothing. I know personally I've almost come to treat things as 'disposable' after a year of wear, what with the constantly changing trends and decline in garment quality. Though I've always donated my unwanted clothing to places like Goodwill, it really doesn't sit well with me - the constant turnover, constant purchasing...not to mention that they come from sweatshops. So I've resolved to shop thrift or consignment as much as possible. This is already working in my favor - I found a bunch of great things for incredibly cheap at the first shop I went to. I'm also really set on taking up sewing...

Scott has taken to turning our backyard into a vegetable garden. I can take no credit for this as I've only watched him work out in the cold from the comforts of the house. I have been putting all my banana peels in the compost... that counts right?

I picked up a new pair of running shoes yesterday (I realize that this completely contradicts what I am trying to do in the previous paragraphs - I am a hypocrite, yes) and I am in love. They are NOT neon. Who knew you could find that. Oh and they feel great, but I haven't had a proper run in them yet. I was actually disappointed in the Kinvaras I just wore out - they fit great, but the durability of them was pretty poor. I went with Adidas Adios Boosts. And they were on sale.

Tomorrow we head down to Brown County for some trail running, good thing since my trail series starts in one month! We also get to celebrate Valentine's Day with a fancy four course vegan dinner our friend's restaurant is putting on. No complaints here.

Now I'm off to curl up in bed with the cats and watch The Fall on netflix as this week has been ridiculously busy at work and I can't wait to turn off my brain.

Defining happiness

What do I want? For a question so simple I find I have an incredibly difficult time answering it. This past week I've tried to focus on happiness, and what that means to me. Does happiness mean achieving this 'perfect' image I have in my head of myself or living the life I want with out self-inflicted stress?

I'm finding it is somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. Perfection is an impossible and useless goal while the latter scenario can lead to complacency. I want to challenge myself, but I don't want to burden myself with the unattainable.

Ok - enough existentialism for one blog post. I don't want to get too serious. This week I ran, I did yoga, I did an art class, I did some tiny home improvements, I tried a new recipe. It was great. I pushed myself on Tuesday with a 7-mile run in the cold and dark, then I took it easy (relatively - ashtanga is not what I'd call easy) and did yoga Saturday morning. I had some company.

So my conclusion is that I have no conclusions, but things are going well.

Mind games

I go back and forth between wanting to share really personal things about my anxiety and inner struggles here - but ultimately I think it is both cathartic for me and possibly helpful to people that might experience similar things. This also serves as a way that I can chart progress as well as remember previous states to learn from. So. With that being said this week was weird. I'll start with the mileage...

Monday: 4.12 miles

Tuesday: 6 miles (2.5 WU, 10 X :30 on, :60 off, CD)

Wednesday: off

Thursday: off

Friday: 3.10 miles

Saturday: 4.54 miles

Sunday: 6.00 miles

Total miles run: 23.76

I'm finishing up a big project at work and ended up working more than I'd planned Wednesday and Thursday, and Saturday I had 9 miles on my plan but only made it 4.5. Not that I collapsed or anything, well, ok maybe mentally collapsed. I emotionally could not complete the run. Maybe it was compounded stress from trying to get things done at work or some critical thoughts I had the previous night, but I started feeling panicky 2 miles into my run, lost control of my breathing and heart rate and felt the overwhelming feeling that I was going to sob. It wasn't due to some thoughts I was dwelling on in my brain - more a wave of 'sickness' that overcame me out of nowhere. I tried to suppress it for a while and get my rhythm back but I couldn't. What I've come to conclude is it was a panic attack, which I hadn't experienced since last July. 

I ended up pulling off the trail and walking through some neighborhoods and embarrassingly - cried some. I felt incredibly ridiculous and weak. Eventually I collected myself and ran back to the car to wait for Scott, who instantly knew something was wrong as he never saw me again during his run. Once we were back at home I shut myself in the bedroom and cried for about 5 minutes. And then it was done. Out. Like a stomach virus that you need to vomit up. It's fucking weird. 

Sunday we met with the group run again where easily finished 6 miles, at just sub-9:00 pace, all while chatting with a friend. 

So.... begrudgingly, I admit that I still have some personal things to sort through. Or am sorting through. Things that are intrinsically tied to running and eating and image. How does one get out of their head?

Mini-training week 1

First week back to training was surprisingly smooth! I did start to feel fatigue set in mid-week but I seem to be recovering pretty well.

Monday: 3 miles

Tuesday: 5 miles (1 WU, 8:59, 8:40, 8:30, 1 CD)

Wednesday: 3 miles

Thursday: 3 miles

Friday: rest

Saturday: 8 miles (9:43/mile)

Sunday: 4.25 miles, 1 hr ashtanga

Total miles run: 26.25

My long run on Saturday was a bit slow - the first and last miles were covered in ice so I had to do a lot of careful picking as to not crack my head open. The middle miles I was more around a 9:15-9:20 pace which is just fine with me. Getting back to 'fitness' is kind of a new feeling for me, but I know I just need to keep up the routine and I'll be back to my pace. 

In unrelated news I bit the bullet and got a tattoo on Saturday. My first. I'd been thinking it over for about a year so I figured I was pretty committed. It was done by a friend of a friend up at a shop in Muncie and I am very pleased with the whole process. Nerves got the best of me when we arrived at the shop and I realized it was actually going to happen, not to mention the fact that I was electively doing something painful. And painful it was. But bearable - not sure how else to describe it. Brief seconds of pain while the line was drawn followed by an equally brief break from the pain. I got it on my ribs, which is apparently a notoriously sensitive spot so I guess it is downhill from there!

A mouse. Related to my time working in a lab that directly used animals for research and how that cemented my choice to go vegan. For all the mice and laboratory animals still in cages. For all the farm animals with no freedom and painful lives. For all the animals used as entertainment or clothing against their will. Go vegan. Stay vegan. 

Training update and recent revelations

I am FINALLY back to running. It seemed very touch and go there for a bit. I would run here and there, then get set back by a cold, then run again... then be stuck in bed...

And just as I was starting to get over the cold again I was struck down the day after returning from our Boston/NH New Year's trip. It probably didn't help that one day I ran in the slushy snowy rain around the city. I was basically bedridden for all of last week.

Anyways, with the assistance of doxycycline, I have prevailed! And just in time to kick off my 16-week training plan for the Mini-Marathon in May. The Mini is hailed as the nation's largest half-marathon (which may or may not be true) and is the culmination of the city's celebrations surrounding the Indy 500 race. I spectated it last year, and ran my first 10 miles in months if you remember, and am looking forward to racing it this year.

Official training began yesterday with 3 miles downtown from work. Scott advised me to start small since I'd been sick for so long - and that was fine with me. The mileage was fine, but the conditions were a mess. It was below freezing, ice was all over the sidewalks and the wind was raging. I took my 5 mile speed work to the treadmill today (1 mile WU, 9:00, 8:40, 8:30, 1 mile CD) and was pleased those were relatively comfortable miles.

Noticeably different to me was my experience on the treadmill. Not often am I running more than 4 miles indoors as that is about as long as I can keep my attention. But today I went in with the mindset of 'training' and the miles flew by. I was there to work. Not to work out. Not to keep a new year's resolution. Not to read a magazine and fuck around on the elliptical. Having one successful 'training period' under my belt has really bolstered my confidence. I've chosen a more intense training plan this go (volume-wise) but I don't have any of the fears I did last time. Mostly I'm just excited to see where I can go from here.

Another realization I came to was how different my attitude has been lately concerning my appearance. I've been reading Derek Jensen's The Culture of Make Believe and it really is putting dominant culture into perspective for me. It is much easier for me to reject beauty standards once I realize that they're a tool to keep us as insecure needy consumers. And are a means to further oppress women, to limit our role to being pretty objects for men. I felt empowered on the treadmill knowing I wasn't running to 'look good' or 'burn calories'. I was there to fucking run.

(Might've helped that I was listening to Sleater Kinney).

Oh! And I signed up for the ENTIRE Dino trail series. That is pretty much a trail 15K once a month starting in March. So yeah, 2015 is looking good!

Looking ahead and looking back

I've taken a bit of a hiatus from running and therefore this blog in the past month. Today I went out for a wet and chilly Saturday morning run (for 4 miles, ooof and it was hard) and I've been running 6 every Sunday with the White Pine group, but otherwise my shoes have sat stagnant in a corner. It's been nice; I've been able to focus a bit more on yoga and generally enjoy the holidays in the warm comforts of home.

With the new year around the corner I am planning out my running goals again. Right now it looks like:

3/14/15 - first of the DINO trail runs (15K)

5/2/15 - Mini Marathon (13.1)

5/8/15 - Cape Cod Ragnar Relay with Team Strong Hearts Vegan Power!

I mainly am going to focus on the Mini, with the DINO run as a bit of a mid-training assessment. Then recover from the Mini and head straight to Cape Cod with a hoard of vegan runners and run a 200 mile relay race. Yoga and strength is another goal I'm going to continue with. My Xmas present from Scott is an in-house yoga studio in the basement. I'm already able to finally do a proper chaturanga (go ahead and laugh, but this is a BIG deal to me) and hold some backbends. 

Of course this time of year makes me look back too - what have I accomplished and learned this year? What was good, or bad? I can easily say 2014 has been one of the best years of my life and that has all stemmed from taking risks and pushing my limits. I've run more than ever, I've met so many interesting people, and I've learned a lot about myself. 

The good: I got legally divorced. I moved to Indiana and found a job very quickly. We adopted kitties. Scott had a successful surgery and surprisingly quick recovery. I followed a training plan. I killed my half-marathon goal. I celebrated a year of being vegan. We rescued a dog (who has been living it up with his new family). I am being responsible about my mental health. Scott was a cover model. We've got a 15 year plan. 

The bad: I chopped off all my hair and have been growing it back ever since. So you win some, you lose some. 

Pups, magazines and easy running

So so so much has been happening this last week that I haven't had a moment to stop and update the ol' blog. Post-monumental I took a full week off of running. Probably more than necessary as I was barely feeling sore the day after, but I was enjoying the freedom to do as I pleased after work. Wednesday I was able to resume my ashtanga yoga class that left my arms and back sore for days after. Thursday we saw a movie, The Theory of Everything, about Stephen Hawking and his wife Jane. I got all excited when other famous scientists were name dropped; Milikin, Rutherford, JJ Thomson....and it might have made me tear up once or twice.

Saturday I resumed running, but something happened before I could run that really has kept us occupied for the last few days. As Scott and I were driving up north to run, we came across a dog walking on the sidewalk in absolutely terrible condition. He was walking slow, had a thick chain PADLOCKED around his neck and had visible bites and blood all over. We immediately stopped, and Scott approached him slowly to gauge his attitude. Surprisingly he wasn't aggressive - mostly timid but not too shy. After seeing him up close and assessing all his wounds we knew we had to do something. It was clear this dog was used in dog fighting and probably a bait dog at that (one used for others to practice on, basically a punching bag).

We kept him in our garage and contacted a vet tech friend who later came over with bolt cutters and supplies to clean him up. He was amazingly calm and loving even though it was clear he had been through so much trauma. We gave him a bath and the water was literally red with the amount of dried blood that washed off of him. He had a substantial laceration on his ear that was still bleeding and many cuts on his head and front legs. 

The dog, since name Django, has now been to the vet, neutered, vaccinated and had various wounds stitched up and is now living in our basement (away from all our kitties) until we can find a proper home for him. He is affectionate and wants nothing more than to be by our side, touching us. I half wanted to keep him myself but I tried to introduce him to our cats earlier today and they were NOT having it. I guess 3 rescued cats is our limit right now. Django needs lots of attention and love to heal from his traumatic past. We're still looking for a home for him, but currently he is camped out in the basement with food, water, heat, blankets and belly rubs. 

Ok - so on to the OTHER crazy thing that has happened in the last few days. Scott entered Runner's World cover contest back in the summer with a great entry about how running has been really essential in his experience with cancer. He's a crazy accomplished runner, with a 2:25:55 marathon PR, many race wins and a true passion for the run. He always is telling me I can do more than my mind thinks and is always offering encouragement for my own personal running goals. I love so much that we can share running together (even if he is often well ahead of me) and all the intricacies of being a runner (ie, black toenails, never ending hunger, whole body fatigue, piles of smelly clothes). 

Anyways! To summarize - he WON! And he is going to be on the December issue of the magazine along with another great female runner who is ridiculously ambitious. I've had to keep this under wraps for the past few weeks, but I've got to hear all about his interview and photoshoots. On Monday they made the big announcement on HuffPo Live and we finally go to see the finished cover. I still haven't gotten one in person but I can't wait! It's not every day you're waking up next to a cover model. 

I can hardly capture everything that has been going on around it but I suggest you head over to Scott's blog to read about it. He's a fantastic writer, a total goof and a 20 year vegan so what's not to love?

Ok, ok so what else? I did another run on Sunday with a group of friends at a nice easy pace, we could chat the whole way and yesterday I knocked out 4 miles on the treadmill. I feel a little aimless without a set training plan so I might write something out just to ease my mind. We're heading back to North Carolina this weekend to visit my parents and I plan to get in some more runs there. So things are good and exciting and crazy but I wouldn't want it any other way!

Race Recap: Monumental Half Marathon

Ok - first things first: 1:53:31!! A new PR (by A LOT) and an awesome race overall.

The first cold snap of the season hit on Friday night; snow flurries were sighted, sleet came down and the winds gusted. Mostly I just tried to ignore the complaints over the weather; I had trained 15 weeks for this race and I'd be damned if 'bad weather' was going to detract from it. Cold temperatures are advantageous for so many runners anyways. This did force me to re-plan my race outfit though and I settled on a tank, arm warmers, long sleeve over that and mid-calf capris. I also opted for gloves and a headband which were essential for the moments waiting before hand. Overheating was not a problem at all during this race - I was actually really comfortable the whole way through but the second I stopped I though I'd get frostbite.

Scott and I arrived about 1 hour ahead of the 8 am start; it was still dark and we had a ~1 mile walk from the car to downtown. I was NOT enjoying the weather at this point. It was blustery and freezing. We mostly huddled in a corner and tried to maintain some heat while waiting. I eventually made my way to the start corrals; they were loosely seeded and not too many people really adhered to their seeding anyways. I tried to make it to the back where us non-seeded folks were relegated but I eventually gave up and just discreetly squeezed into corral 4.

After little fanfare we were off! There was much congestion in the first mile and I was really concerned about my pace but it eventually evened out.

Miles 1-3
These went by really fast; they had so many twists and turns through down town and the crowd was still considerably large at this point. Scott had given me pacing of 9:05 for the first 3 miles, 8:55 for the next 5 and 8:40 for the last 5. I noticed I was above pace for these miles and I tried to slow it down some, but I wasn't too successful.

Miles 4-6
I was still feeling really comfortable in the 8:45 range here at these miles so I decided to just stick with it. The course had taken us out of the thick of downtown by now and we were running through the neighborhoods which were full of nice support.

Miles 7-9
By this point we'd split from the full marathon and were going through some more turns that I couldn't really place in my head. I was still feeling strong and confident with my consistent 8:42-8:45 miles.

Miles 10-13.1
I had it in my head to try to pick up the pace at mile 10 but I wasn't able to do it. Part of it was a small incline over a bridge but mostly I think I was still concerned about blowing up. By the time I'd reached mile 12 I really stepped up my pace (I guess I knew I wasn't going to blow up then) and realized I could've probably done this a few miles back. Oh well. Before the start of this year I'd never had a race tactic at all so what can you say?

I can't believe I ran such even splits. I never achieve this in training. You can see the first 3 miles I was still dealing with crowds and my last mile is WAY faster than the others. So I didn't really follow Scott's pace suggestions but either way I am super proud of my finish! I kept thinking during the race how hard my first half was (2:17, average pace 10:30) that I had to walk a bunch and how far I've come. I felt strong the whole way and never had any really tough parts.

My knees and hips were sore for the rest of the day but I feel fine after a good night's sleep. Again compare this to last year where I could barely walk up and down stairs for days after. We celebrated with Ethiopian food, vegan cupcakes and my first beer post-training.

Now I have to set my sights on more races because I can't get enough. Most likely next spring I will run the Mini Marathon and again try to take down my half PR. But for now... I'm going to enjoy a few days off from running.

40 miles

I've done it, I've finished peak week - and it surprisingly wasn't as challenging as I anticipated. It's funny to look back and see the small increments that brought me to where I am now - my agony over a 4 mile run has transformed into finishing 14 miles and feeling pretty fucking awesome. So mileage for this week was....

Monday: Off
Tuesday: 10 miles
Wednesday: Off - vegan family dinner!! Casserole, pie, soy whip.
Thursday: 6 miles
Friday: 6 miles
Saturday: 14 miles
Sunday: 4 miles

Total miles run: 40

I haven't uploaded my runs from garmin yet, but I am pretty sure that my long run broke down to 9:00 pace. The goal I've been ruminating over in my head has been to run 13.1 in under 2 hrs. And Saturday I ran it in 1:58:xx.

So obviously I need a new goal. No, ok I am still going to be happy to just run under 2 hours. That's a HUGE improvement off my first half, something around the 2:17 (blah) mark. And that was basically shuffling/crying/crawling the last 3 miles. Mostly I am proud of myself to have done the training. That is way more meaningful to me than a fancy finish time.

So now we taper. I have a few more 8 mile runs, but nothing farther. Scott and I signed up for a 5 mile race this coming weekend, which will be a fun assessment of how much speed I've gained through training. I'm also going to spend these last two weeks really focusing on nutrition. Last week gave us little time to prepare sound lunches and I mostly foraged through the hospital. (aside - we've been watching the Walking Dead so everything is now seen in terms of the impending zombie apocalypse).

Oh, and Wednesday we are going to see NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON give a lecture. My nerdiness will not be contained.

3 weeks from Monumental

A quick recap on training this week - I am basically just putting my head down and powering through. Things are still going surprisingly well and I keep feeling amazed at how much I am enjoying this. Who knew running all the time is fun?

Monday: 5 miles
Tuesday: 9 miles
Wednesday: Ashtanga yoga
Thursday: off
Friday: 6 miles
Saturday: 8 miles
Sunday: 4 miles
Total: 32 miles

I didn't have a particularly long run this week, but the 9 miles on Tuesday was definitely a challenge. I for some reason started out really fast and got my heart rate up super high - to the point where I had to walk for a minute to calm down. I eventually settled down and finished all the miles but I probably had a look of desperation on my face the whole time. Saturday's run was the best of the week. I was able to keep ALL of the miles below 9:00, with two at 8:30 and an average of around 8:45. I can only hope to feel so good come race day.

Today we got up early to watch the Chicago Marathon and two (elite) friends run PRs. One just 13 seconds shy of an olympic trials qualifier... I can't believe the pace they keep. I'm already starting to think ahead to my next goal race after Monumental, part of me wants to sign right up for the Mini but I will most likely take a few weeks to decide what's next. I have to say though, I really am liking these long runs that no longer feel so long and 30 mile weeks. Who am I?!

Crisp fall air...

Things are still moving along. I have two more weeks until I officially start tapering. This week was confidence boosting for a few reasons. More of my weekly runs were 'long' runs which in my mind means things over 6 miles (though that is starting to evolve) and for the first time I did an afternoon run preceding a morning long run. I for some reason have it in my head that I don't do that and there's no way I could recover in that short of time.

Those two runs were surprisingly great. Friday I did 7.5 miles on the Monon Trail - it had rained all day and was promising to rain more but there was a small window of clear skies when I started. It did eventually rain on the trail, but not too hard. This weather meant that I was one of the few people out there (also that it was Friday afternoon/evening) which made for some really beautiful views of the changing leaves on the path. Towards the end of the run I caught up to a woman that was running a quick pace (8:30ish) and my ego got the best of me so I passed her and maintained a 8:10 pace. I also came across the Crossfit studio that is on the path doing about 100 m sprints. Again - I let my ego get the best of me and ran my last mile in 8:02. 

On Saturday I had my long run, 12 miles. The temperature had dropped, it was fucking windy and the sky was threatening to rain again. The first 1.5 miles it seemed crazy to me that I was going to run 12 miles in those conditions on legs that were still tired from the night before. But I surprised myself and kept a.. mostly constant pace for the whole run. I failed again to actually run 12 miles. The canal towpath is 5, so down and back is 10. Meaning I needed to run two more on the Monon Trail but I turned around too soon and only ran 11.5. Regardless, I definitely tapped in the deep fatigue of a long run.

(Mile 11 involved stopping at traffic lights).

On my way back down the towpath during this run I encountered what appeared to be a loosely organized color run. I avoided getting covered in dye thankfully.

This change in temperature has been really welcomed and only made me more excited about running. I hope it lasts for a few more weeks before we start getting forecasts for snow!

6 weeks from Monumental

I'm now 6 weeks out from the Monumental Half so that puts me at about the half-way point in this whole training cycle. Things are starting to feel routine; like I've gotten into a rhythm of running and I'm feeling progress in my endurance. I still think I'm solidly in the 'base-building' stage of running (see this article in the Running Times) even though I am anxious to see improvements in speed.

Which is probably why in my run yesterday when I was feeling sluggish I felt the need to throw in speed work in the last two miles.



I also got a new Garmin this week. Hooray for birthday money! When I was setting this new watch up I opened my old database that had most of my runs from last year; my first year really 'committing' to running. Whoa. Ok. I've come pretty far.

Tomorrow Scott is taking me to Chicago for my birthday! (Which is actually on Monday, 27, gah!) I'm pretty excited to try all sorts of delicious vegan food and run on the lakeshore. But before we leave I will be running 12 miles on the towpath. Gotta get in that long run.

I'm starting to really enjoy being in training.

Qualitative vs Quantitative

I think have been measuring my progress in running by one metric; speed. I feel that success is only a sub 8:30 pace on every run. Obviously...that's absurd. 

Today was mid-week long run on the Monon. 7 miles. Not too bad. 

I worked almost 9 hours today and presented a poster for 2, wore heels, ran errands at lunch time... when I got home I didn't feel like turning right around and going out for a run. But that just wasn't an option. Whereas I used to use those things as an excuse to skip my run, this time I just put on my shoes and was out the door. 

I ran the first 5 miles on the Monon (2.5 miles north, 2.5 miles south) and could have easily stopped back at the car - what I would've probably done last year. Five is enough right? No, I had seven on the calendar. So I ran past my car again, down the other direction of the Monon and finished my last 2 miles. 

And tomorrow is a rest day, but I plan to go to my friend's yoga class to keep my muscles loose and work on my flexibility. 

So no, maybe I didn't knock out this run at 8:30 pace (more like 9:00), but it only felt like a 4 mile jaunt. And I didn't succumb to excuses. I'm also looking at my running more holistically by incorporating stretching and yoga, and watching my nutrition by cutting out alcohol and eating to best fuel running. 

So I feel like I actually made a lot of progress today. And none of it was speed. 

Week 9/1-9/7

This week was a lot like last week in both running quality and emotions. Still a little tightly wound, still logging lots of runs. But I am making progress on the first point, at least. I think. I have plans. 

Monday: 5 miles

Tuesday: 8 miles

Wednesday: off

Thursday: 5 miles (supposed to be 6)

Friday: off

Saturday: 10 miles (!)

Sunday: 3 miles

Total miles run: 31

So this is kind of a new milestone for me. 30 miles a week. I have been hovering around 25 miles a week for a good couple of months now so this really feels good. Saturday's run was my first double-digit run since probably last year and it felt really... solid. Not easy, not hard - just exactly how I wanted it to be. Other things about this week:

1. I've been paying less attention to pace lately and it's been easier on my mind. But most of these were anywhere from 8:30 to 9:20 pace. I think my whole 10 mile run averaged out to 9:18 pace. I feel pretty satisfied with that. 

2. On Thursday I had some motivational issues and skimped a bit on my milage. Not cool. 

3. I also feel like I could be eating more green things.

A dynamic equilibrium

My project at work is done, Scott is home from the hospital, and things with running are reaching an equilibrium. I'm now 1/3 of the way into my half-marathon training and I really am feeling much stronger and confident about it. This week I really committed to my training schedule after flaking a little the 2 weeks prior and it. feels. good. 

This week involved 7 miles on Tuesday, easy miles for the rest of the week, and 8 yesterday. I felt absolutely shot yesterday by the 3rd mile, I didn't know what was happening. Rethinking in my head, I concluded that my dinners this week have been mostly soup (excellent for Scott! maybe not enough for me) and that the fatigue I was feeling was due to under fueling. Or the humidity. Or just increase in mileage. Anyways, I was STRUGGLING, but I knew I had to do all 8 miles, so I just did all 8 miles. It felt like my legs were full of lead and anytime I had to stop at an intersection I feared I couldn't get going again. But I made it, and even might run some more today though I have nothing on my training plan. 

And a bit of an aside: I have about had it with my neighborhood running route. It is a nice enough route visually (plenty of trees and interesting houses to check out) but I tend to get yelled, whistled, 'complimented' way more frequently than in the middle class suburban areas of Indianapolis. Yesterday was so out of control that I almost reacted to the last person by throwing out my middle finger but I was too damn tired. In the course of my 8 miles I was 'hey beautiful' ed by one overweight man on his bike, honked at by two cars really close to me, told something possibly lewd by two teenage boys, leered at noticeably from two men in a service truck and to put the icing on the cake - ran past two men getting arrested. I have occasionally gotten shouts of encouragement - one memorable one from a woman on her porch to 'get it girl'. But yesterday it was all negative. I was feeling frustrated and unsafe yesterday. Gah. I think it takes nothing more than a ponytail and running shorts for some men to need to express gender domination. (I discussed this some with Scott, fuck the patriarchy). 

Anyways, I feel like I really have reached a dynamic equilibrium with my running. If some source of change is thrown into the reaction, I adapt and accommodate for the change to maintain my current steady state. See the scheduled miles, do the scheduled miles. 

As far as all the whining and crying I did in my last post... actually running makes me feel proud of myself. It makes me feel accomplished, in control and does a lot for my confidence. So I'm going to keep this ball rolling. And completing a week like this - with what I would call two 'long runs' - shows me I CAN do this. I can run that far.